I've experienced this and wondered the same. I love my friends--they are successful in their careers, well spoken and well dressed; however, most of our times spent together with 3 or four of us over drinks and them wondering why the "can't find a man" or complaining about their ex, or exactly what you are saying--not setting boundaries with those in their lives (which is so obvious to me but not to them). And it's the same stuff over and over. Nothing ever changes, except maybe the face of the man in their life. i say to ad nauseum "get your focus off finding the right one and BE the right one"
Anyway, I've been saying for a while need to get around new people--people that are at a higher level than I am--I believe it is the only way i will grow. SOOO I joined a local group here--it is a business group, however, their focus is on the community and how they can help--I went to dinner with them for the first time this week and I was amazed--the entire conversaiton--no complaining, no gossip, no small talk, just where is there a need and how can we help to fill it--sending backpacks of food home with low income kids so the can be fed over the weekend, things like that. All about "how can we move forward and help others". 100% REAL positive energy.
It was so refreshing. I left feeling alive, full of possibilties, and not drained and depleted.