Originally Posted by
EternalQ I am very sorry to hear this Mwstylee. Glad you are back. You quit for a rather longtime prior to this didnt you? Or am I wrong? Anyway do be careful with detox... and get back on the track of sanity you knew before.
I hope this is taken in the right spirit, as, I certainly would not wish what you have been going through the last six weeks on anyone. However, when I do hear an experience like this, it just reconfirms for me that any sip of alcohol would be a monumental risk for me.
I mean, before quitting, I had been drinking hard straight liquor, home alone, every day for many, many years. And every time I imagine taking a sip of something, say at a social event or holiday, all I can see is that I would immediately go back to daily secret drinking. How could it go any other way? It was my abusive buddy, and it would move right back in with me. I know it. I cannot even pretend otherwise. I can't even lie to myself about it because it is so obvious to me.
I am afraid some day I will forget. But then I read posts like yours and there it all is. There but for the grace of God go I. So I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I am grateful for the cautionary tale.
Please let us know how you are doing.
Thank you very, very much for that reply. I don't think I'm a stupid person, but I do when things like this happen. If someone lied to me once, I'd be very cautious. If they lie to me a second time, that's it. End of friendship. I've lied to myself for almost a decade now, since I was 18. "just one drink". I've said that to myself literally tens of thousands of times and you know what? I've never, ever ever had just 1 drink. Never in my life have I just had 1. I feel borderline insane.
Going to try out a program this Friday night. Not AA but a slightly different version of an alkie support group. I just want to get better and stop living like this. Day 2 is today, 7pm now and I'm almost in the clear.
Thanks for the replies everyone.