When I went back to drinking I had a few years sober. After about a month I was sitting at my desk drinking vodka. It was 10:00 am. I realized I was right back where I had left it years earlier. I called a friend and told them. They sounded sad for me. I wonder if I had done something then if I could have spared myself the last four years of hell I just left a few months ago. Something to think about.