That short window of (perceived) happiness that alcohol brought me held sway over me for my entire drinking career, as I tried to constantly find that window over and over again - but it had closed a long time ago. I could never rediscover that point where things felt right, where I was comfortable in my own skin. That search for that "joy point" blinded me to the endless carousel off misery and depression, and I brought a lot of people down with me.