A's do what works for them to continue to use their DOC. I am not sure that I knew while in my ongoing condition of drinking and drugging if I knew it was manipulation, I just knew what worked to keep others from interfering with me getting my substances so that is what I did.
Now upon finding recovery and my head finally starting to clear I started to become aware of my manipulative ways, since I was still doing those behaviors in my early recovery. Not until I finally got into Alanon also, did I start to really see the ramifications of not only what I had done, but what my sober but now gambling husband was doing.
From what I have also gathered from the many A's I have worked with and known over these many years, they too did not think of their ways and words as being manipulation while they were out there using and drinking. It was only when they were into and on their way in recovery that they became aware fully of what manipulations and manipulative behaviors they had used.
J M H O
Love and hugs,