I cannot really judge when I'm helpful and when I'm not. I know that. I used to think it was helpful to rescue people, fix everything, and keep alert to their feelings and figure out how to please them so they felt better. That turned out to be a defect of character problem, not helpful. I thought I was unhelpful when I let people alone. That turned out to be fairly useful, or so they shared later along the way.
It's a WHOLE lot easier to just do the next right thing, ask for inspiration throughout the day, and assume that God is using me properly and with my own talents and gifts.