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Broken Spirit,
Keep being honest with yourself about your addiction. Are there NA meetings in your area? If so, you may want to reconsider going to meetings. In my experience, that's the only thing that's kept me clean. I can almost guarantee if I hadn't become involved in NA I would be tricking my dr or finding another dr. It's too easy to use. It's natural for an addict.
I'm out of town for the holiday and am trying to keep my mind busy b/c there is NOT a meeting here tonight or last night. Missing 2 days of meetings for me is a real challenge.
Believe in yourself!
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