change96

I have been on sr for almost 7 weeks and I have been completely alcohol free for the same. Tonight I went to my first AA meeting and came out with mixed feelings about it. I will admit that the hour went by quickly, but I left telling a bit confused. The first thing is that although I do believe in god, I personally don't believe that the higher power is going to keep me from drinking. It may be a part of the overall picture, but inevitably it is up to me. The second thing was a guy stood up and said something to the effect of ( I will use my words because I cant remember the sentances that he quoted out of the book.) its not our fault that we drink and that one drink will never suffice. I know for a fact that one drink will never be enough for me so I cant ever have alcohol again. I am 43 and started drinking at 15, I finally realized 7 weeks ago that I am responsible for picking that first drink up! No more excuses, no one but myself to blame. I went to aa because I want as much knowledge and support that I can get to stay sober. What did I miss from the meeting? I have only posted a couple of times but sr has helped keep me sober and I left thinking I should have just stayed home and spent the hour online here! The only thing missing in sr is verbal communication. Thanks to everyone for the posts and stories that are shared every day!