I just started whimpering like a puppy for 10 min, then cried for 10 min with the shuddering gasps for breath, then SOBBED and cried out "oh mom. I'm so sorry. How could I have ever done this to myself??? Look at me, look at this house! Look at how much neglect I thought was *okay*!"
Oh GAWD. :'( :'(
What did I DO to myself with my alcoholism?
Just crying and hyperventilating and smoking a cig now.