Three things have kept me sober for 58 days ( after 25 years of doing just what u described)
1. I go to meetings even when I don't "feel" like it
2. I got a sponsor who holds me accountable for working the steps
3. I do 12 step work at least once a week
I have a successful career a wonderful wife and two healthy and well behaving teenagers ( yes it's possible)
I've given in on a daily basis for 25 years always Bc I wanted to serve my own desires. I am learning that I can be the person god created me to be if i remain sober