Oh Escapist...
I want you to know that I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also want you to know that you are strong and you can do this. I quit six months ago, CT, and there were times I would have rather eaten my own arm from my body than have to ride out another craving. But I rode them hard. That intensity only lasted through the first week, then it just got progressively easier. The cravings are now few and far between, and fleeting when they do come.
I used to say "well, I'm going to die from something, might as well be smoking", but you know...it's a horrible horrible way to die and horrible for your loved ones to watch.
I have faith in you, too. You have already proven to yourself that you are much stronger and more capable than when I first "met" you here.
xo