Welcome NeedToStopThis! Your pattern is a lot like mine was. Drink heavily one night, then recover and stop for a day or two, then feel great and drink again. It was a never ending cycle that caused me a lot of stress, worry, and I know health issues would have been next. I was constantly feeling guilty about drinking, frustrated that I couldn't moderate it, and miserable because deep down I knew I had a problem and was avoiding it.
Try to really examine the reasons you want to stop. They will become the tools to help you talk yourself out of drinking the next time the urge hits. AA sounds like a good option for you as well if you're open to that method. I find AVRT very helpful in keeping me sober, also reading and posting here on SR.
Initially I had to approach it with the words "not today maybe tomorrow" because the idea of never drinking again was too overwhelming. It still is in some ways, but now it seems like a possible concept. You can do this! Read about all the success stories here
