Thought - It is a slow process. But at times, like my past attitudes, I want it NOW. I want things to change and to be better NOW! Sounds adolescent when I think about it. But then again, my emotional maturity is that of a 15 year old. I agree with the fact that I stopped maturing emotionally when I started using. I wanted anything and everything now, but didn't want to have to put in any footwork to achieve it. I deserved everything and wanted the world on a silver platter. Mine for the taking!
It doesn't work that way. I am realizing that now. I have a place in the world, but I am not God. The world doesn't revolve around me, as I once thought it did. Crazy that most people I talk in the program once thought the same way. No wonder things didn't work out!
Today I simply do the best I can with the resources presented to me while doing my best to help out and love other people. It is a much easier and fulfilling life.
Med - Interesting angle. Very true. I can pray pray pray to a genie God, like I did before, but if I don't have faith that the prayers will be answered, like I did before, I will not be able to see the answers. They generally come through other people. If I'm too wrapped up in self to see this, I am going to easily miss them.