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jazzpoppy, I completely understand what you are going through. Dealing with pain and addiction at the same time is very difficult. I became addicted to painkillers when taking them for a medical condition, so did my husband.
My husbands story is more similar to yours. He has had many back injuries, right now has 9 herniated discs and other problems. When he first herniated discs, his Dr. gave him Ultram telling him that it was not addictive and non-narcotic. He became very addicted to it even without taking huge quantities. Once it started making him feel good, he took it more, but never anywhere near handfulls. He realized he was addicted to Ultram and tried to stop, he was taking about 3 pills a day, and he couldn't do it. I started to notice and get concerned.
I didn't know anything about Ultram, so I decided to research it. I found that WebMD clearly states that it is addictive.
After 3 years of Ultram addiction, he did finally quit. On a long road trip, he was running out of pills. We got stuck in a huge snow storm for 3 days. He never took it again. Luckily the withdrawel wasn't that bad, so you shouldn't have too much trouble stopping.
I would reccomend not taking Ultram at all, especially if you have trouble controlling your dose.
I do understand the pain dilemma, that is a big issue for me too. It is very hard to deal with pain without being addicted to pills. Narcotics are addictive, and non-narcotic pain meds can actually be worse. Look at Vioxx and everything going on with those type of meds right now.
My husband still takes some meds, but he is pretty good at controlling it. He is also trying other ways to help his pain. He has recently found that sleeping on the floor actually helps him a lot. He wakes up with little to no pain. And there are many things worth trying, I have heard a lot of good things about acupunture, and I know yoga and the breathing habits developed with it can be a big help. An alternative method of pain relief may be a good idea for you if the pain isn't that bad.
The best piece of advice I can give you is to always do your own research on all medications, treatments, surgeries, and diagnosis. I have learned this first hand, many times.
Good luck, and I hope all goes well.
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