I have a similar situation. My 50yo brother lives with my elderly parents. For years, I tried to get them to change things. AlAnon, counseling. Don't pick him up from jail, don't let latest girlfriend drop him back at your door step, don't give him money. Etc etc etc. In the end, all it did was make them uncomfortable around me. They are devoutly religious, and also feel it's their cross to bear somehow. My Mom always tells me she can't kick him out, if something happens to him, she would never get over it. At this stage in life, I have to agree...she would carry that guilt. So I had to learn to stay completely out of it. They know how I feel. I see my brother on the rare occasion I'm at their house, and occasionally say hello when he answers their phone. Get togethers with my parents happen at my house. I don't ask about my brother, and they don't tell me. We stay focused on the rest of our lives. I am still heart broken for their situation, but have found peace in letting them decide how they want to handle it.