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Old 11-17-2012, 12:20 PM
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toxickizzes69
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2
Staying away from an alcoholic boyfriend

I am new to this forum and thought I would join to help with emotional support while getting over an alcoholic boyfriend. Sorry ahead of time that is is so long.

The background:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and things started out great. We ended up getting an apartment together and couldn't be happier. Then his social drinking exploded into him drinking at least 6-10 beers a night by himself at home until he would pass out on the couch. There has been numerous times when he would get up to go to the bathroom and only make it onto his hands and knees and start going in that position. He has also gone on the floor, in the oven, in the cabinet drawer, but I had to call it quits when I woke up one night and yelled at him to make sure he made it to the bathroom in the toilet and I didn't hear him in the bathroom yet, so I got up and he had walked past the bathroom and was going in his (not mine) 7 year old daughter's dresser drawer (located on her bed-one of the beds with the drawers underneath it) as she was sleeping. Thankfully he had been dumb enough to turn on the light so even though she had woken up, her eyes hadn't adjusted to be able to see or know what was going on. At this point my motherly instincts kicked in and all I could do (before even thinking about it) was smack him in the back.

In addition to this, when we had his daughter for a week, she had to come and wake me up 3 times within the week. One time was because she couldn't wake him up (on the couch), once because "Daddy fell asleep on the toilet", and once because "Daddy won't wake up and he left potatoes on the stove" (they were boiling in water on the stove). I have also come home before 8pm and he was passed out on the couch and had the oven preheating to 450 degrees with a frozen pizza sitting on the counter. That's the day I walked out the first time.

I now live at my dad's and he lives with his parents. We have been trying to work things out, but there's been too many times where he has ditched me to hang out with his friends and go drinking and he's now to the point where all he wants to do is sit at home and drink. He has no motivation to do anything. He is now claiming it is because he hates his job. He has used just about every excuse in the book when it comes to his drinking. He can't go into a gas station and leave without a case of beer...and he is proud of it.

The problem is, he is the best boyfriend in the world when he is sober. Unfortunately he's just not sober enough and I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant and more emotional than ever. I feel awful taking his son away from him, but I don't want my son raised around an alcoholic. And being so emotional makes it even harder to fully walk away. He knows exactly what to say to get me to stay, and I am sick of falling for it over and over and over again.

Last night when I got off of work, I asked him (via text messaging) if he was still working and he replied with, "Yea...I'm either going to go home or go get a beer." I then asked him, "Do I get to see you and spend time with you tonight?" (I haven't seen him in about a week due to a previous argument) and I didn't get anything in return. I finally said, "Mason (what we are naming our son) and I are not going to come second to beer. I hope you are happy with your decision." I have not heard from him since.

I really need to find the support to stick to my decision to finally call it done and stick to it. I am hoping that one day he will realize on his own how much his drinking has affected his life and the others around him. I have tried to help him numerous times with his drinking, but he refuses to accept it. He is now 26 with 3 dui's, 4 kids (all with different mothers) and no ambition to work on mending anything. The only child of his that he currently sees is his first and even her mother would like to have his custody taken away.
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