The other day I was invited out and I thought I don't want to be an idiot and get wasted so I tried to be aware of how much I was drinking the next thing I know I wake up, no idea how I got there and no recollection of the night before! Apparently I had fell asleep whilst I was out then threw up everywhere.
Sounds like you tried to control it the other day. Did it work? Moderation, or controlling our drinking is not possible. A normal drinker doesn't have to try to control their drinking, they just do it naturally.
Welcome to SR. We are here to support you if you decide you want to stop drinking.