I can't believe I'm here
Hello,
I've been reading this forum for several weeks, and find it very inspirational.
My problem is that I seem to be more 'psychologically' addicted to alcohol than physically. I work in a creative field, and several people I know who are also creative (illustrators, cartoonists and writers) say they feel the way I do - that we're at our best when we've had some booze to unlock our creativity.
I'm 40. I used to write 10-15 articles a week for various publications, no problem. But about two years ago I began drinking more than I ever have. Maybe I'm just burnt out, but I find that booze helps me 'care' when I have to call people for interviews. Then a little more booze helps me write a great story. Now I feel blocked without it.
The combination of age and alcohol has led to a weight gain of approx. 25 pounds too. I hate it. Maybe I'm vain...?
I want to get back to the person I was three years ago. The one who could interview and write because I loved it. The one who was slim, happy and healthy.
The other problem is that I read about scary detox symptoms and it makes me afraid. I've gone dry for about five days at a time, with headaches and insomnia as the main symptom. But I get so scared of the other things that could happen that I am hyper-alert for anything that's slightly different...
I drink approx. 4-5 times a day - and i do mean during the day. I don't feel the need to drink at night. I work from home, so it's easy to drink while I work. I don't want to do it anymore.