Hi Pearl! You did a great job posting. I'm so glad you found us. You aren't alone with this - and there are many people in their 20's here on SR.
I felt relief as soon as I posted here. I knew I was in great company. I didn't have anyone else in my life who really understood what I was going through. I could just be myself here and no one made me feel strange. I hope you'll continue posting, and that you find the encouragement you need. You are brave and wise to be doing this at a young age. Be proud of yourself, and never give up.