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Old 09-04-2012, 03:44 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
FenwayFaithful
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
I am so sorry =(

You can't fix her. She may be young but she is technically an adult. I'm several years older than her and I often still feel like a child.

I've never had a problem with drugs but I have problems with alcohol. The summer my alcoholic tendencies were at their worst I put my family through hell. I made me Mom cry, my Dad feel helpless to help her...my brother and sister not want to be around me... then I decided I had enough of them trying to "control me" (when really they were just trying to HELP me) and I moved into one of the worst neighborhoods in Boston with my coke addict boyfriend whose now in jail.

My parents TRIED to stop me. They really did but they couldn't. They can't control my drinking, no one can. No one besides me. No one can "save me" or "fix me" they tried setting limits and telling and begging and none of it worked.

I still found ways to drink. I was employed at a minimum wage job and didn't have much money. I have probably blown hundreds and hundreds of dollars on booze since I've turned 21.

I guess I'm just sharing my story to say that I have parents that tried to stop it and they couldn't. She is going to have to face the consequences of her actions someday.

If you confront your daughter she'll lie. I found myself lying all the time and I didn't even want to I just didn't really know what else to do. Lying just becomes second nature, sometimes I'd forget I was lying.

I lied about how much or how often I drank so many times that I often forgot what was really truly.

I would suggest a program for her but she's 18 so you can't force her to go. And it won't be any good unless she's willing to go.

I'd say when/if she comes home you do your best not to enable her. If she wants to go out and waste her money and leave home then those are her choices and she has to live with the consequence of her actions.

Sometimes that's what a person needs.

What do you know about this boyfriend? His family? Her friends? Are they using? Are there a lot of drugs in your neighborhood? Where I'm from I know kids who started using when they were 14. So I don't think there is any such thing as "too young"
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