[tryinagain]

Mill,
First of all since I have not talked with you before, I am Roy, a 37 yr old recovering alcoholic of over 20 years of daily drinking. I never really put the two together either as I would have them randomly throughout the day and even worse at night (when trying to sleep). I was treated for anxiety, stress, diet, you name it except for the real problem...drinking. I hid it very well except for the ones nearest to me. If I were to drink one single beer right now, I would have them most of the night. I always thought that it could have nothing to do with the beer b/c I did not drink in the morning and never during the work day..just when I got home until I went to bed. Sometimes 6-8 beers and sometimes a case, depending on the night. Once you get to a certain point, it is normal to have this everyday and you will find that it will turn into shakes/sweats/loss of appetite/nervousness etc until you can get home or wherever and have a drink or 10. I have a heart problem and take meds to control that now and once in awhile still have the "flutters" or a sharp pain with irregular beat but it is usually brought about by too much caffeine or stress. However, I was making matters 10x worse with the beer and realized that when I quit. It took me three times this year before I realized that I can never have a drink of alcohol again. I would get the same withdrawal (near death feeling along with the symptoms) from one beer as I would get with a few cases (yes I could down more than one in a day). My wife used to buy me 5 or more cases for a weekend and nobody here drank but me. I could down a case and other than the smell, you would not know I had drank one. I realized this as a serious problem when every night became a near brush with death due to waking in cold sweats, strange dreams, shakes and my heart racing about the normal speed of a jet engine in fear for my life. So, I cut back to a 12 pack an evening...same result. Then down to 8 same result. You get my point. Your body is telling you that you have crossed into the zone where it is quit and get medical attention for the damage that has occurred with drinking and possibly hereditary traits or malfuntions, or die. I know this sounds harsh but that is the point in the road where you are unless you walk away from it for good. More than just an opinion, pure experience and I hope you understand and take it as such. I now have heart pills along with some pills for stress, these are problems that I have had since I was born but I self-medicated. Not on purpose, "I drink a few to relax" just did not wash anymore and I had to face reality. I did when I walked away from it for good and it was the best decision I have made in my life. I may actually live to see my grandchildren someday.
Just My 2 Lives Worth,
Roy