but i have battled this addiction for 9 years, it has landed me in so much trouble yet no matter how bad it got, or how bad DTs got after 9 days of drinking vodka and no food or water 24/7, for weeks i would claim never again but then the desire ALWAYS comes back, tricks my mind, and i try it again not even remembering the circumstances..
Change 9 years to 20, and we're exactly alike. I sure hope this works for you, we all deserve to live a better life, and can.