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I'll be thinking of you tonight!
I'd highly suggest NarAnon or CODA. It sounds like you have done everything YOU can in this relationship. You are doing all the things I would have suggested already. You've tried to help him with his psych meds. You have tried to help him get a program or other plan of dealing with things. You're trying to help him get off pain pills.
Now..... what are you doing to take care of YOU?
I forgot to say....... when I was using/drinking, I had a great fear of being controlled. Any effort to reign in my behavior set me to ranting. I can tell you that that thinking is addict thinking. I just asked my partner if a feeling or fear of being controlled is part of bipolar.... she said that paranoia is part of bipolar. She doesn't have any specific fear/feeling of being controlled tho.
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The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
---------Terry Pratchett
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