Oh, Yes, it hurts. It hurts like a physical pain. I have cried rivers of tears and prayed that they didn't "really" mean it. I think it is a normal human reaction to feel pain when those we have invested our caring and love into stomp on our hearts. Alcoholism is cruel to all it touches.
I have been told to not take it personally, because it is just their way of deflecting guilt and responsibility away from themselves by placing it on us. When I can remember to think of it this way---it keeps me from hurting so much.
You have my sympathy.
dandylion