The more I read, the stronger I am, thank you.
See, the thing is, as upsetting as all of this is for me, how this truly feels like I'm mourning, I realize the biggest reason (out of many) that I'm so upset is that I KNOW on some level this is goodbye. I know that there is a 99% probablility this is the end. Even his aunt (one of many) who has taken more of an interest (she is in rehab psychology) said I need to move on. They know I've done more than ever expected or should have and I have all of their support. Not that I would need it to justify my actions but every time my ex said that he didn't want this (the split) or made some 'future' reference, I chose not to comment because inside I knew - for me - it was over.
I don't know what his choice will be come this weekend and/or over the next month, he has the resources, the information, etc. to choose a facility. For his sake, I hope he goes there and not elsewhere. But once he's out, that's it. If we ever (and right now I'm not even entertaining the idea because I can't imagine it) tried again, I still wouldn't let him move back, that's how firm I am. I cannot WAIT to live by myself again and that is a very good sign for me.
Thank you for the support and insight.
My next step is to find a Naranon meeting. They are very scarce around here but hopefully I'll be able to make one next week.