AddictedHusband,
First and foremost, you need to visit a licensed Psychiatrist. He/she will assess you and make a diagnosis based on you and you alone.
I'll give you a little history on me,,,
I'm a chronic pain person under the care of a GREAT Pain Mgm group but I got addicted to the pain meds and went through the roller coaster of stopping/starting the meds...
I was diagnosed as ADHD as a child but never took any meds because my parents didn't want me "medicated" - long story... My youth was a bitch typically associated with hyper kids. As an older adolescent, I kinda found a way around it through sports, work outs, adrenaline pumping activities... I joined the service after high school and that put me right where I needed to be... Super high physical activity and yes EXTREME adrenaline "things".
After the service I was in law enforcement, later I was in computers with large corporations (and working out 5-7 week for 3-4 hours a day).
But see, 4-5 years ago I was diagnosed with some serious physical ailments that forced me to stop all the extreme activities I was accustomed to. I nearly went crazy until I was prescribed pain meds. Holy cow! It was like a small miracle. My mind slowed down, I was no longer restless and agitated, I could focus on things (somewhat despite being "high"). But then after a few years on the meds, my life slowly descended into a small hell. My life revolved around pills and I was no longer the brick $#!^house of a man I used to be.
I stopped/staeted the meds several times.
I finally went to a shrink on the advice of my doctor. I was hesitant to do so but realized that it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I never realized how much "baggage" I carried from my life, etc, etc. Getting things off my chest was HUGE! But alas, my shrink did diagnose me after performing several tests. Eventually I was placed on a non narcotic ADHD med.
My world changed again... My constant anxiety was calmed down, I was able to slow down my mind and focus on things, I had energy but not "too much". I also noticed my pain was chronic pain was more manageable without pain meds. I also no longer felt that incredible urge to use pain meds like I used to. Personally, I attribute some of it to the fact I was less anxious all the time. Now, the other half of that was my personal effort to not use. Further more, I had my pain mgm doc lower my pain meds to a third of my previous dose. I haven't used a pain pill since last weekend!
Here's the bottom line, you need to do what is best for you and believe me when I say that there are LICENSED professionals out there that can help you make choices that are best for you. Here's the catch though! You need to be brutally honest with yourself and your doctor. You CANNOT hold back! So do yourself a favor and get some help.
The ONLY medical advice I can give you here is to see a professional. You'll be glad you did. Heck, there's a reason they went to school for a decade and racked up hundreds of thousands in tuition... So they can make decisions based on what's best for YOU and you alone.
Finally, I went to a shrink in Feb.