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Hi there
I'm Rowan, alcoholic, suicidal, major depressive, pill popper, master of self loathing!
Just so you know you're not alone.
I started getting depressed in my teens - my Dad would (and still does) say 'pull your socks up! It's all in your head! You've got no reason to be depressed!'
It seems I never have a 'reason' to cite, but still I suffer from depression. I don't need to justify the who/what/when/where/why/how to anyone. ANYONE.
I just celebrated a year clean and sober. My depressive episodes are fewer and far
between, thanks to medication, meetings, prayer and fellowship. And exercise. I'm big on that too, provided it's a complement to and not a replacement for my recovery.
I still cringe when I think of some of the things I did while under the influence. VERY hurtful and embarrassing things. But I was a speaker at a meeting earlier this month and for the first time, told my story, beginning to end, and I told about the hurtful/embarrassing stuff too. Afterwards people came up to me and thanked me for giving them hope and for my courage. I finally realized that what AA says is true; one day our past will be our greatest asset. One day you will be able to tell your story and show others how they too can recover. You're sober today. You're alive. And you are loved. Keep coming back, please.
Love Rowan
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