Quote:
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I find it a little chilling when I remember just how near the truth the plain ridiculous can be, however It is good for us in sobriety to learn to laugh at ourselves."
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(Anonymous)
You know you're an alcoholic when...
You frequently urinate outdoors.
.
You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour
. later you're afraid you won't.
.
You fall asleep taking a dump.
.
You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
.
You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
.
You find it's easier to study drunk.
.
You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
.
Beer ads make sense.
.
You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet
and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
.
You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half
empties left sitting around the room.
.
The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color
reads "bloodshot".
.
You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your
beer.
.
You mix your cocktails by the litre.
.
You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your
chin.
.
You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic
Zen-like ****.
.
You explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft
mainly on beer and women; "the rest I just wasted."
.
When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
.
You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
.