Rose,
You are absolutely right, you should only change because you want to, changing for someone else is a bad deal, compromising for the sake of your relationship is different than changing.
I am by nature a shy person, if you would see me out glad handing it is because I feel I must, (like for something at my childrens school), and in that case I am acting (acting like a normal, socialble people loving person), I would much rather be dancing with the plants in the corner if forced into a social situation.
Please don't avoid your guy, it will work or it wont, my wife and I came together with tons of baggage, we discussed it, dealt with it, and put it in space bags and dumped it in the basement (where it stays most of the time), it can be done, people do it every day.
If he does not recognize that you are a wonderful person, with a good heart, then he needs a new RX for his glasses and his thinking.
You deserve the best!
Big hugs,
Bill
My point was that if it is important to you to have love and to have family, you may have to create them rather than depend on your FOO.