Doug

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ...couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so ...they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because ...it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that ...was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but ...I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just ...didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I ...couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found ...I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I ..didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I ...just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I ...couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I ...tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was ...just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I ...wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I ...wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I ...was discharged.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was ...no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it ...was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB!