Originally Posted by
krismarie212 
i have a question - my boyfriend is a recoverng drug addict. and we dont seem to agree on this answer.
he went to rehab and met a few people obviously and now he is home and in an out-patient group and has met more people. the people have given him their number and whatever. i feel that a recovering drug addict shouldnt associate with recovering drug addicts for the simple fact that if a criminal comes out of jail he cant associate with felons. isnt it the same thing?
do you think he is right? he then said that if he hangs out with them i would be going and meeting new people, but i dont think those are the people id like to meet. am i wrong?
please help
This is a very good thread; and I have a question that has puzzled me since I first came to SR and was told about the benefits of addicts in recovery forming close social friendships, along with working their 12 step program together.
My question is not meant to criticize this concept; as it seems to work for many…. But I don’t fully understand the premise as it seems to highly conflict with other things Ive been told here on SR.
When I first arrived at SR I was advised at how high relapse rates were; warned about staying in a relationship with my BF because the odds were stacked against him ever finding long term recovery.
Do most of you agree with this?
For those that do believe relapse rates are high and long term recovery is rare…. How does it make sense for those in recovery to spend so much time together with others that are in recovery when they each have a strong probability for failure?
My thought process is that this is a dangerous set up
I get that addicts in recovery have to learn to deal with people and situations, and learn to say no to drugs on their own behalf…. But the concept of isolating themselves WITH ONLY or PRIMARILY WITH other recovering addicts seems misguided to me. I can better understand their relationship in terms of attending meetings and limiting their contact to actual therapy settings where open discussion could have benefits.
I also understand addicts often end up surrounded by other addicts before they quit; so in this case they may have no friends left that are clean… in this case; I guess recovering addicts are a better choice for socialization. Like this is the best choice within a bad set of options.
And I also understand that recovering addicts often feel guilt and shame , feel like they cannot be accepted by non addicts; however seems like this is something that should be worked on; the goal would be to overcome this mentality. This structure seems to validate that thought process. It doesn’t seem healthy to embrace the concept birds of a feather flock together…..not if their success rates are so low.
And if you disagree that success rates are low; then why is there so much negativity around having a relationship with a recovering addict?
It all just seems contradictory to me.
Again, Im not looking to start an argument – Im just trying to understand; and when I see contradictions in theory…it makes me distrust this whole concept. So if anyone can explain away these concerns that I have; Id appreciate it.