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Old 03-10-2012, 04:19 PM
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bcHElovesme
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: bottom of the map
Posts: 35
Question day 3 - no methadone

I started going to a methadone clinic April 2010 to get off of oxicodone. I peaked at 110mg but am now hv been maintained at 80mg for a year.. Methadone did amazing things for me, my husband & I bought a house, we actually have savings now, & it brought me closer to God.when I first started the program I was very anxious to to get off of the program as soon as possible. I prayed about it & sought outside counseling & decided to fix the REAL issue at hand, why was I self medicating? What void need to ne filled? So I asked God to tell me when, I DID NOT WANT TO BE A LIFER! I received a monthly newsletter from one of my favorite preachers advising tht on March 7th thy would be having an entire day of prayer for any requests that were sent in. I knew right then it was time & I almost feel over. I had gotten comfortable & really dnt want to do this in just a cpl days! But... I trust Him. A year ago my husband fasted for
3 days & praying for the the ability to buy our home & on the 3rd evening I was wrapping up my prayer & out of nowhere I say to my husband I quit smoking (I was a smoker for 10 years & had no intention on quitting ). He chuckles & says OK dear... I haven't smoked since - I had no desire, cravings, or w/d from it. It was completely puzzled & extremely thankful. I hv faith & trust now in this situation. I got a 10 day tk home amount b/c if u miss more than 3 days ur discharged & I know it takes decades to w/d from methadone so I figured by day 10 id knw if I needed to go back w/o being discharged. I know to most ppl tht the of the hope of the same thing happening w/ the methadone is completely asinine but we shall see. Its day three & I feel amazing. Yes I know its only day 3 so at what point would one begin to wish thy were dead? I hv read & heard of methadone being debilitating & gruesome to w/d from & a lot more intense then opiate s. So I want to know what others went through, has anyone derided CT off of a high amount, how long did it last? I know its time, I want my life back. I wam to enjoy "intimacy" again, I want children, I want to enjoy & embrace life again, I want to eat good food again (methadone makes me hv no desire for different foods, I've eaten the same thigh for 2 years), I want to feel emotions again good or bad, I want to cry again (also hvnt done in 3 years), I want to feel & be who I was before pills & methadone. Any words of wisdom would be amazing - no need to say how ridiculous or foolish my experience or hopes are,
Please be positive <3 thank you
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