Originally Posted by
Becky1234 
He isn't attending AA meetings. He never has - always refused. He feels that since he has managed to abstain for the past 3 years that he must be doing fine. I haven't yet pointed out to him that he hasn't actually tackled all other issues and that abstaining isn't enough.
I would be happy to join Alanon but how would they feel if I explained that my husband hasn't had a drink in three years?
I tried to explain to his family but they think I'm just making excuses. They say "He's given up everything now - surely you should be happy". I think it was easier when he was drinking......but then I realise that at least I had something to blame it on then.
My wife had 8 years and stopped going to meetings and shortly after that started using.It was unbearable.I thought I was in a nut house far before she began taking perscription medication.I had to make some serious choices and instead of making threats that meant nothing time after time.I was asked to give Alanon a try.Once I had an understanding of what exactly was going on with my situation.It challenged her to look at her side of the street.I heard all the behaviors through other peoples lives and I understood that was happening in my own life.I was able not be affected after a while.Honestly it was like having a child in an adult body,Some what like a demon.It took time I stopped making all the threats that made everything my problem and her behavior abruptly stopped.Today I have a good life like I had when I first met her.Which I thought was over.Its very easy to throw it all away But even I had to start acting like an adult.Many people will tell you throw the bum out.Im not that person.I hear you care for him and something worked for 13 years.You get one shot to take your life back.Whether with him or without.There is no way that you have not been affected by living with an alcoholic.I didn't think I was for many years and I would have carryed all my scars to any other relastionship I got into.
PS They would understand he has 3 years but it wouldn't be about him
Ovid