My first question would be is he attending AA meeting regularly and working a program?.I know for myself the behaviors come out if they are not and they tend to act out.Its also important if you decide to to give your relastionship another chance Alanon would be a good thing for that.I know in my situation it has helped.I always thought it was me and hearing other people issues had me understand I had nothing to do with it.I've been married for 25 years and it has helped me in many ways.I know when I first went I told myself why?? should I go.But it was worth it.I hope for the best for you
Ovid