Originally Posted by
epskie 
I have fallen off the wagon big time and can't seem to get back on. My anxiety is the worst it's ever been and last week I couldn't get to work because the sky looked like it was falling in and I was frightened. On Friday I had to sit on the floor in Asda (Wal-Mart) because I felt like I was falling off a ledge. I desperately want/need to give up but I'm already thinking about tomorrow night when I am going to my friend's house for a few drinks. Please help, I am pathetic.
I am six weeks sober today. I stopped on New Year's Day.
But just nine weeks ago I was at my lowest ebb. I was drinking a double before I went to work, a quarter bottle in work and a half bottle afterwards. I was so depressed and unhappy I decided, like you have, that enough's enough.
In my case I wrote down my thoughts when I was in a state similar to yours. I wrote to myself that I felt I couldn't take much more of this and how frightened, depressed and unhappy I felt. I then set a date (in my case New Year's Day) and promised myself that I would stop then. I have the piece of paper here and it reminds me of just how desperate and pathetic I was. It's actually tear stained (and I'm a guy).
You sound as though you've suffered enough. Channel and galvanize that into will power and use it to motivate yourself. I know that it is often impossible to stop instantly, because the fear is too great. You can either reduce your drinking over say 3 days, which is difficult, or better still go and see your doctor and get some valium.
Good Luck.