hey blackandblue-
this certainly is a lot to tackle and process and move forward with all at once. i just want to reiterate a few things since i was in a similar situation, waaay longer than i needed to be. i never judged my gf and did nothing but love her and support her, and in turn enable her. in my head, i saw she had problems and i thought i could stand by and stay as the anchor in our relationship for when she got better.
we had break ups or she would disappear and i would do all the worrying, thinking, and wondering. month after month. after over a year, she still has not fully embraced recovery, but seems to have taken steps more out of necessity than will. in addition,as with zoso's egf, there are also personality issues at play. lie, cheat, sneaky.
before i ramble, what i mean to say is you really should consider yourself lucky. as bad as you think it was, if the relationship did not end, it would have gotten worse. there is always a worse that it is brought to.
they are addicts and until they turn their life around we are their hostage if we allow it to continue. my egf had only been off drugs for a couple weeks, but then anxiety and other issues began to surface and she began to act out in her pre-hard-drug manner which was through seduction. i could see it.
that was a light bulb moment. so yes, you can pray for him. you can pray for anything you want, but you may want to slip a prayer in that he does not contact you for a ling while. you may never know the truth about what is going on in his head, but as several people pointed out- take the drugs out of the equation- do you like his behavior? is this the relationship you want?
i kept hoping for a while that my xgf would leave me because i didnt have the will to do it. even that wasnt enough. the real test has been to go no contact or at least very limited contact.
so i guess i just took the long way of saying, stay your course and do not let ant manipulation suck you back in- it will happen, whether he is hanging with another girl now or not. you can have a life free of drama and be able to give and receive the love you desire.