Hi lswad
Firstly, you are NOT pathetic. You are human, and you are in pain. You need to express that pain.
You know what you have to do..... take care of YOU. Your husband's recovery is his business. You are your business.
[qoute]I finally told him that I'm screaming and screaming for someone to listen to me [/quote]
It really sounds like he isn't going to listen. He has decided to not listen.
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I am tired of looking for him, someone, anyone to see me falling because no one does and I feel like I'm wasting a lot of my energy. Energy that I know I'm going to have to use to save myself
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Yep. You have just given yourself some sound advice. Maybe next time you want attention from him, you should read that.
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I tried going to therapy but can't seem to keep an appointment to save my life.
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I'd give it another whirl, if I were you. My therapist deals with one crisis after another from me. For the most part, she is an ear to bend, which she does very well.
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have had cycles like this since I was a teenage
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Do you have a psychiatrist? If so, does he know about these cycles?
Better advice givers than me will be along shortly. Keep coming back here. Keep posting, keep reading.
Ann