Hey mcbb, welcome to SR! I'm glad that you found us.
You are right. Her entering rehab is about her and her life.
My concern is you, your alcoholism, and codependency.
At best, rehab will give you the tools to stay sober, and it's up to you to use those tools after rehab. For me, AA gives me those same tools and helps me keep them sharp, as well as being my primary source of support for alcoholism.
I am both a long-term recovering alcoholic/addict and a recovering codependent.
My personal experience was I needed to address the alcoholism/addictions
first, then deal with the codependency later.
Because I refused to address my codependency for well over a
decade after rehab, I continued to seek out toxic relationships.
I finally hit my codependent bottom when my dry-drunk fiance walked out on me. My poor choices were not only causing me pain, but also my kids and grandkids. My eyes were open.
I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.