[journeygal]

Hi Want2change and welcome,

Well, I wish there was an easy way to solve your problem. I've battled insecurity and jealousy all of my adult life, and it's only been in the last year or so that I realized the problem existed deep within me and stemmed from lack of self-worth and low self-esteem. B/c of various reasons, I have often felt that I didn't deserve being with certain people or that no one would ever want to be with me or accept me for who I am. I felt that if anyone really knew me, they'd find me too dull and boring or that I wasn't attractive enough, all of the feelings that a lot of codependents struggle with.

The change started when I started dealing with my issues and accepting and loving myself for who I am. I can't even tell you it was any one thing I did to help turn it around, but it was a willingness to really examine myself, my life, and I had to accept and come to terms with a lot of things in my life they ultimately had a negative affect on my self-worth. Happiness has to come from within. No other person can give it to us, and if we can't be happy with ourselves, we can't be happy and secure in a relationship with another person.

The fact that you recognize your obsessive thoughts and fears about this person is a very good sign. There's a post at the top of this forum, called obsessive love, that you might want to check out. I'm glad you found us and I hope you keep coming back.

Take care,
JG