Sometimes there is nothing anyone else can do. They have to want to change, and they have to want to do it for themselves. I've been on both sides of it, I'm a reformed alcoholic/addict. I've also seen others destroy themselves through addiction and it's very difficult to stand by and watch, you truly do feel as if you've 'lost' them to the problem that they have. When one family member affected passed away, I was surprised at the emptiness of emotion that I felt... then I realized, I'd probably experienced all the grief three years earlier when I knew that the addiction had really taken her away from me. I am sorry for what you are suffering, but please take care of yourself.