23 Days Sober
I am 23 days sober today! It has been hard but SO worth it. My brain is still a little fuzzy and I am still tired but besides that, I feel GREAT!
My boyfriend has lived with me for 4 years now. He has his own issues (who doesn't?). When I decided to get sober he did not say a word....that is ok....it is my fight, not his. I don't talk about being sober at all....that seems to make him really uncomfortable whenever I bring it up.
He has started trying to get me to drink/smoke pot. Yup....I used to smoke pot too. He will bring booze in the house when I asked him not to (he is not a drinker, so this is a new behavior) and he tries to get me to smell his pot. He says things like I shouldn't try to be a good girl.....good girls are boring as hell. In truth, I am discovering HE is boring! He is passed out by 7:30 every night!
This last weekend he spent it stoned while I totally re-did the bathroom. Painted, put up new light fixtures, new curtains, etc. (It looks great by the way! *proud grin*) I used the money I would have used on Vodka for the project. I have discovered keeping busy keeps the cravings under control AND boosts my self esteem.
I am just feeling so fragile right now. I am worried about the holidays.....my first sober in 20 years! My twin girls are getting their first college acceptance letters already...another huge life change coming up for me.
I now see how my sobriety is a life change for him too.....I have decided to hold out and see what becomes of our relationship after some time has gone by, after we both have time to adjust....but boy am I scared.
I LOVE being sober! My life was a messed up hell when I was drinking/smoking, especially the last 3 years or so. Maybe my being sober will help him, but then again maybe it will change our relationship too much and I will loose him.
I am so early in my recovery.....I want sobriety so badly.....I would love to hear from other people who were able to get sober AND keep their relationships with their significant others!