I had a lot of trouble with this over many years.
The fact is I was a drinker for 20 years - a large part of me wanted to drink - I was addicted.
Putting me around other drinkers was, at best, a recipe for misery, and at worst...well...
But I need to learn how to live in the real world without drinking.
I get this - but who says you need to face this right now?
When I quit for good, I stayed at home until I knew nothing would shake my resolve.
I really wanted to be done.
I consider that time was a good investment.
I worked on myself, I thought about who I wanted to be....and without alcohol...I changed - when I did re-enter the social world, I wasn't the same person who left it.
That "why CAN'T I?" and "can I EVER?" stuff was resolved.
There's a lot of fun things you can do on weekends that don't involve alcohol.
If all friends do is drink, then maybe that's something else to look at, pigtails?
D