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Originally Posted by lurkings I do meetings, therapy, meds. I do everything I am supposed to do except call my sponsor. What's left for me if AA don't work? ~Bluesman |
Bluesman, I hope you are listening. Really listening!! You probably don't want to hear my answers but if you are not calling your sponsor and not calling other AA members throughout the week then you are NOT working AA! If you really WANT to stay sober then call your sponsor every day. Even if you don't have anything to say. You can start by calling your sponsor and saying hey,"I'm having a hard time staying sober right now so if it's okay I would like to call you everyday or a couple times a day to check in with you and so that when I really do need you, then I won't hesitate to call." This is what my sponsor has me do (Although, I must let you know that I am not an Alcoholic, but rather an Al-anon). And sometimes I just my sponsor and say, "Hi, How are you today.... Thanks, I'm Fine. So I will talk to you tomorrow."
The sponsor/sponsoree relationship is a vital part of the sucess of the AA program.
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Originally Posted by lurkings Anyway, the booze and lithium have caused a suicidal feeling inside me.
Please pray for me and give me some clue as what I could do to STAY sober. ~Bluesman |
Suicidal thoughts and feelings are to be taken seriously. I found this out during my recent hospital stay for my major depressive episode from my bipolar disorder.
Are you talking to your therapist about these thoughts? If not you should be (as someone advised me a week ago when I took their advice). The 5 day hospital stay was like a wonderful vacation to me. I throughly enjoyed not having to think and having meals made for me 3 times a day. And they started me on meds while I was there. Maybe this might be something for you to think about or talk to someone about while you are going through this. If you decide to quit drinking you can go into a crisis intervention center to detox and get meds straight while knowing you won't kill yourself or anyone else while you are in a fragile state of mind. These are just suggestions. Only you know what is right for you.
But I do know that a slip is just that - a slip. Just pick yourself up and keep going and be proud of yourself for working on your recovery!
REMEMBER: Progress over perfection! (Progress is all we can strive for)
You have lots of friends here and sometimes I and others may point out the hard truth, but that is what you have to face if you ever truely want recovery. And we want to help you in everyway!
Sending prayers your way,
Jenna