I too suffer from this. It is ultimately what triggered my alcohol and drug dependence - although I see other issues as I work at recovery, do an inventory, etc. The steps or some version of an honest evaluation can really help. Mindful Based Anxiety Reduction (an online program) is a very good tool. I also read a spiritual description online that really resonated - it is driven by a deep-seeded fear of giving and receiving love. There is a wall that we've put up, driven by fear and distrust, that inhibits us from expressing love - thus reducing the love we receive back. I can't word it as succintly as the essay did, but if you're adept at googling and the internet you could search for it. I wish you the best.