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Old 09-02-2004, 08:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
nucldragr
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Stuck in my Head!!
Posts: 35
Depression and Anxiety taking over

:sink My life in the past two months has been HELL. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for the better half of five years and have been medicated accordingly. however, this time it seems to be much much much worse than I can remember it ever being. Some of the people who read this post will be familiar with my story, others of you will not and I wish for their sake it wasn't as hard as it is to talk about, but it is. I am your stereotypical co-dependant alcoholic who used to drink because I thought I had to to numb the pain I was feeling. But then it got worse, and now every day when I wake up it is the very first thought on mind; this disturbes me very much. It was never this bad before, why now? I want to believe that the cause is all based around my wifes addiction to attention and sex but then I realize that I drank before she started acting out. Now things are more complex, my wife is carrying around twin babies that don't belong to me. With the drinking, obviously, my depression and axiety attacks are not getting better and the meds don't seen to be helping this time. I dread going to bed at night sometimes because I know the next morning I will have to be up with the kids that we have together. Everything within me wants nothing more than to stay in bed and sulk in my own self-pity. However, financial and physical responsabilities do not allow me to do that. I feel like I am in HELL right now because of the thoughts and emotions I feel on constant basis. I was as close to suicide as you can be without actually doing it. I have had the police called on me several times in the past few months thanks to my counselor. I am at the end of my rope with my life right now and could really really use some emotional support with what I am dealing with. Anybody who can help I am more than open to any suggestion. Thank You and I am sorry for the length of this.

nucldragr
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