 lost at sea
:sink Well...been trying to figure out where in the H#@@ I belong. Been posting in WIR. I am a depressed mess. I am on many medications... seemed to help..but I was drinking toooo. tring to quit the alcohol. I know it is no good with meds. I found that I often - recently could not remember parts of the night. No clue... maybe foggy scenes. Thank God the Lord was with me. Good thing they repo'd my car and I didn't drive. I just feel sooooo lost. I feel like a failure at life. Going to be 50 soon and I lost my job.. car... But at least my children are grown and doing well. I am soooo sad lately.. just got or shall I say now trying to break away from a relationship with an alcoholic - bad one-made me even worse. He drinks allllll day!!!! I started drinking daily with him.. even though I waited til 4 or 5pm instead of his 11 am or noon. But, I know that is wrong for me... the fights, the degrading comments from him. I don't have any friends if I don't drink... that is sad - huh?
I'm thinkin that I need to stay off the booze and let my medication help me.. but is it the quitting that has me alll sooooo sad... sad. sad? Normal when facing this decision? Anyone out there understand me??? Got to go and cry some more... pitiful aren't I? Tomorrow I will wake and go for a walk. I really do try.. but it is sooooo lonely... I feel sooo alone like I don't matter at all.
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