[Cap3]

Thank you for sharring the truth about where you are at,today.Been there too.I too felt embarrased after my going back out to call those folks at the meetings.I felt this way until i realised,,that some of them too have come and gone and come back again,also.They have experience with this,and that they can help me..And i knew where to go for ..help...You say that you,"want" to get hammered,tonite.There is a difference between wanting,and ,,actually,,,doing it.When i went back out,i didnt dissappoint anyone.but....myself.....It was myself that i let down.No remorse can change that.It happened..But positive action can change me.Doing the do things,in recovery programs, helps me to forgive myself,because this remorse i had inside of me,i felt,just as well keep , drinking,to heck with it all.I told myself alot of things...I was still sick.Using my sick mind,and believing all that i said to myself.The key word is,,for me..sick..So,i just hauled my butt to meetings...I didnt want to,but i went anyways.And i listend,And i just started to do the do things.Eventually my mind became clearer.,step2..There are things in my life that i dont want to do,but need to do.And this is one of them..I needed,not wanted,at the time,Go to meetings,read the books,,etc,,etc..,regardless...It was through ...action...that eventually i wanted to go to meetings..Sounds backwards,,i guess,,but this is how it happened.,for me..when i came back to recovery programs....smile...
You say,i have to live for my 7-year-old son...
Both you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers...
God Bless,,take care,,,
You are no longer,all,alone...