MTUSA

Dear Well Now What,

I grew up in a single parent home, with a mother who was an alcoholic. I participated in 3 interventions where she went to treatment 3 times. I attended Alanon for 7 years. The majority attending Alanon were women whose husband's were alcholics. Few parents attended. To be honest, these meetings were like reruns of I Love Lucy. We (co-dependent's) knew that we needed to take care of ourselves, but let's be honest heree. When you love someone who is an alcohol or drug user, it's pretty hard to feel good when they are dying before our very eyes. My mom was killing herelf before my very eyes. I watched this happen almost every day of my life until she died. I knew I had no control (after the 3rd treatment-failure). But let's face it, you cannot be emotionally well, when you truly love someone on alcohol or drugs. Impossible. You can only learn to put it out of your mind and function for periods of time. I am not willing to become a zombie, pretending all is well. It's not ok, and I am not a pretend woman. In fact, I think we have too many people with displaced anger, who are covering up their pain by lashing out at those who don't deserve it. I did that for those 7 years I attended Alanon. After all, that's what I was taught. To be fake, and play pretend. It's ridiculous.

Having been the child of an alcoholic, I absolutely believe that having an alcoholic for a parent (spouse?), does not compare to having an alcholic or drug addict for a child, and watching your own child die.

There is no greater love or grief, than watching a child slowly die.