Originally Posted by
EveningRose 
But one of those friends also knows my mother quite well, has for many years since before I moved back. She told me my mother was quite surprised to find that she and I are friends, and gave her the third degree (her words) asking question after question.
I don't know what questions she asked. I don't really know if she was upset that this woman is friends with me.... But I'm left for once not even knowing what I feel or what to do with the emotions dredged up by hearing this.
Look at it this way: You're trying to avoid contact with your immediate family as it is. So if they get all into a state of high dudgeon because of something your friend (who shouldn't be blabbing on you, but that's not under your control), and they end up not wanting to contact you, well, so what? You want them out of your life anyway, so it's a win-win!
(Substitute "extended family" for "immediate family," and you've got my situation. I really don't give a you-know-what what they think of me -- and if they don't call, that's fine -- I don't want to hear from them anyway.)
T