Blaming others.
Do you think there is any validity in blaming others for what has happened to you through alcohol abuse?
Because the other day I told my ex-girlfriend in no uncertain terms that I held her 50% responsible for nearly dying last year and having a messed up shoulder for the rest of my life, which was all down to alcohol withdrawal seizures.
In all honesty, 50% is probably way too high and i'm not kidding myself - I realise it was all basically my fault because nobody forced me to drink heavily!
But the reason I issued blame is because I was 100% serious about quitting drinking completely a year or so ago. I was getting older, it was costing me too much money, I wasn't enjoying it anymore and it was seriously affecting me mentally and physically.
I was fully aware I had a big problem and was set to stop.
But then I read up alot on quitting 'cold turkey'. I read several things about the dangers of alcohol withdrawal and how it can be lethal, so I said to my ex at the time that I think I need to quit the 'proper' way.
Anyway, her reaction was to call me a p*ssy, say it was all a load of rubbish and that she knew I wouldn't do it.
Suffice to say that knocked me right back so i just thought "sod it" and later in the year I quit cold turkey and ended up nearly dying as the result of three seizures due to the withdrawal.
And even worse, a broken shoulder which i'm likely now going to have to have replaced completely.
So basically I just think if that I had some support back when I wanted to quit, none of it would have happened.
Maybe it would have happened anyway, I don't know. But altho I realise it's all pretty much my fault, I can't help but feel very angered about what went on.